{"id":1478,"date":"2012-03-27T22:17:24","date_gmt":"2012-03-28T06:17:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=1478"},"modified":"2012-03-27T22:17:24","modified_gmt":"2012-03-28T06:17:24","slug":"how-i-learned-to-get-my-tv-on-my-laptop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=1478","title":{"rendered":"How I learned to get my TV on my Laptop"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"TVKeeping a blog up to date is a lot like trying to get TV on your laptop. It seems like a good idea, but no one actually has the time to figure it out or has the right cables to make it work or whatever. You’re halfway through the eleventh poorly written tutorial about HDMI Oy\/Vey when another dancing cowboy goes riding across your screen in a Volkswagen screaming something about FOREX and suddenly you can’t decide whether you need to stop drinking or to start. The goods news of course is that five or six bottles of Jack later you don’t even remember having a TV, or a blog, just a list of regrets longer than your new police record.<\/p>\n

Somewhere between the whiskey sweats and setting fire to the rehabilitation facility you woke up in you realize you don’t even own a laptop in the first place. This is where the line between the truth and the metaphor became blurry and things started getting weird fast. Next thing you know you’re running through the woods with only the inferno at your back to light your way. Bushes morph into hunch-backed salesmen extolling the virtues of external Zip drives while hurling free samples at your head. By the time the sun comes up you’re standing naked in the middle of the freeway wearing a deer head as a hat and trying to flag down a cab using a new form of gibberish you’ve just invented. When one finally stops you start thanking whatever god is squeezing your brain like modeling clay and scream in well-rehearsed Neo-English for\u00a0 the cabby to take you to the nearest liquor store.<\/p>\n

A few days later after you’ve finished drinking yourself back to sober you start to notice the piles of TVs stacked upon laptops; a bizarre recreation of an all to familiar scene from a very popular, yet dated movie. Yes, things were finally back to normal. Or so I thought. A single post-it note on an otherwise bare refrigerator taunted me with a glaring truth.<\/p>\n

“Laptop on TV.”<\/p>\n

I’d had it all backwards and now it was too late to start over.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Keeping a blog up to date is a lot like trying to get TV on your laptop. It seems like a good idea, but no one actually has the time to figure it out or has the right cables to make it work or whatever. You’re halfway through the eleventh poorly written tutorial about HDMI… Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[379,256],"tags":[421,420,422],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6upCM-nQ","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":992,"url":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=992","url_meta":{"origin":1478,"position":0},"title":"Now available: Salamander Whiskey","author":"Animal Control","date":"December 8, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"","rel":"","context":"In "Crittic's Corner"","block_context":{"text":"Crittic's Corner","link":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?cat=367"},"img":{"alt_text":"Venomous Bottle Salamander","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/2010-12-08-bottlemander.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/2010-12-08-bottlemander.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/2010-12-08-bottlemander.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1654,"url":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=1654","url_meta":{"origin":1478,"position":1},"title":"Better than Irishes","author":"Animal Control","date":"July 27, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm a bad ass hard-as-nails police detective that doesn't play by the rules. Rules like going to the academy or being a real cop. I crack the cases other detectives are afraid to touch. Give me a bottle of Jack and a .44 and I'll make you hit the high\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Storytime"","block_context":{"text":"Storytime","link":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?cat=468"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1777,"url":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=1777","url_meta":{"origin":1478,"position":2},"title":"Top Tech CEO Reveals Shocking Secret About the Color Hat Women Absolutely Shouldn’t Wear in the Office","author":"Animal Control","date":"July 30, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"By Staff Writer Recently the CEO of a major internet technology firm admitted that women who hide their long sexy hair under a hat are deliberately paid less than those who wear skimpy cleavage-empowering clothing to the cubicle farm. This never-before-revealed corporate secret is a winning strategy engineered to discourage\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Angry Advice"","block_context":{"text":"Angry Advice","link":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?cat=379"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1478"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1478"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1478\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1481,"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1478\/revisions\/1481"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1478"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1478"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1478"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}