{"id":1787,"date":"2015-08-01T15:51:38","date_gmt":"2015-08-01T23:51:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=1787"},"modified":"2015-08-01T15:52:32","modified_gmt":"2015-08-01T23:52:32","slug":"the-worst-advice-cosmo-cant-even-get-flirting-right","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=1787","title":{"rendered":"The Worst Advice: Cosmo Can’t Even Get Flirting Right"},"content":{"rendered":"
By Staff Writer<\/em><\/h5>\n

If there’s one unwritten rule, or more accurately, one horrifically overwritten rule, it’s that before you can start enjoying that relationship you have to actually meet another human being first. And that invariably is going to involve a little flirting, so thank God that Cosmo is riding into town again in a drunken stupor of stupidly that only a man writing for, well Cosmo could hope to achieve.<\/p>\n

Follow me below the fold to find out why if you’re getting dating advice from a magazine you’re probably still single…<\/p>\n\n

And so we find ourselves with this gem:<\/p>\n

8 Flirting Moves Guys Actually Hate<\/h3>\n

Read the Original Article On Cosmo<\/a><\/em><\/h5>\n

And by guys we’re pretty sure he means the two guys in bar not getting hit on.<\/p>\n

1. Using a baby voice <\/strong><\/h4>\n

Literally the first rule of male-female interaction, men don’t care what you’re saying unless it’s either the A’s score or how we want our steak cooked as long as you look good saying it and baby voices = sexy lip action. To be fair though, this one is pretty age specific. Once you’ve developed a few wrinkles it’s time to toss this strategy out because you’ll just come off like a creepy psycho who reminds us of our grandmothers.<\/p>\n

2. Taking our hats and wearing them<\/strong><\/h4>\n

The only men who hate this one are the bald guy and the one with dandruff, and let’s face it, she’s not flirting with either of them. The quickest way for a girl to go from a 9 to a ten is the addition of a ball cap. This ties in with number 7, but when a guy starts talking about his favorite sports team and it just so happens to be the same one featured on his hat; grab it and put it on! This simple trick builds a strong association between you and something he loves. Every time he thinks of baseball he’ll be thinking of you too.<\/p>\n

3. Obviously acting dumb as a way of initiating conversation<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Like OMG, so sexy. It’s silly, it’s cute, grabs attention, and it keeps flirting where it’s supposed to be. The fun zone. Trying to drop your Masters Thesis on his lap while he’s juggling a Bud Light and a vodka cran makes you look insecure and desperate to prove you’re as smart as him before you’ve even asked him to buy you a drink.<\/p>\n

4.\u00a0Playing hard to get<\/strong><\/h4>\n

One essential truth that applies to all things guys do is that we like to work hard for the things we want. The more effort you make him expend to win you, the higher your perceived value will be. First impressions are key and if you make it too easy for him then all you’ve accomplished is teaching him that he doesn’t have to try.<\/p>\n

5. Flipping your hair constantly<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Dude, if your hair is long enough to flip you need to shave that mullet. She’s just giving you a hint that it’s time to visit the barber. Unless you’re talking about her hair, in which case that’s just incredibly sexy. Flirting tip that works great for both sexes, adopt mannerisms that call attention to your strongest features, such as stroking your chin or beard and finding subtle ways to flex.<\/p>\n

6. Trying to make us jealous<\/strong><\/h4>\n

This one’s similar to 4. Ladies if you’re not reminding your guy, and in the case of flirting, your prospective guy, that he doesn’t run the risk of losing you, he’s just not going to put the effort in.<\/p>\n

7. Faking a common interest<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Pretending to like each other’s dumb hobbies is a foundational element of the social contract of relationships. Dating is when couples have the time and opportunity to flesh out which activities they really do and don’t enjoy together and has no place during the early flirtatious stage. Real advice? If you can’t manage to pretend everything they do and say is interesting for five minutes, then you should be flirting with somebody else.<\/p>\n

8. Forcing us to decode emoji texts<\/strong><\/h4>\n

Anyone that needs to decode emojis in the year 2015 who has internet access and a smart phone is probably still trying to figure out how to operate the doorknob in their parents basement. Let’s face it, emojis are cute and that’s how guys like their woman.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Staff Writer If there’s one unwritten rule, or more accurately, one horrifically overwritten rule, it’s that before you can start enjoying that relationship you have to actually meet another human being first. And that invariably is going to involve a little flirting, so thank God that Cosmo is riding into town again in a… Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[379,256],"tags":[380,109,486,483],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6upCM-sP","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1151,"url":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=1151","url_meta":{"origin":1787,"position":0},"title":"Learn to Draw a Webcomic with Angry Critter!","author":"Animal Control","date":"April 2, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 It's okay, some of my favorite webcomics use stick figures!","rel":"","context":"In "Angry Advice"","block_context":{"text":"Angry Advice","link":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?cat=379"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/stickfigure-advice.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/stickfigure-advice.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/stickfigure-advice.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1800,"url":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=1800","url_meta":{"origin":1787,"position":1},"title":"10 Hillary Clinton Quotes That Are Also Brilliant Tinder Pick Up Lines","author":"Animal Control","date":"October 2, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 If you've used Tinder you've probably spent a fair amount of time staring at a blank message prompt desperately trying to think of something clever to text that one slightly average looking person who probably swiped you by accident, and then resorted to Googling pick up lines in hopes\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Angry Advice"","block_context":{"text":"Angry Advice","link":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?cat=379"},"img":{"alt_text":"Hillary quotes to use on Tinder","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/hillar_tinder-small.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1378,"url":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=1378","url_meta":{"origin":1787,"position":2},"title":"Developing a Successful Social Media Strategy and Thoughts on SEO","author":"Animal Control","date":"November 11, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"As someone who has been a blogger for several years, and worked in a number of online communities for far longer, the topics of social media strategy and SEO (search engine optimization) come up quite frequently. 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