If you’ve used Tinder you’ve probably spent a fair amount of time staring at a blank message prompt desperately trying to think of something clever to text that one slightly average looking person who probably swiped you by accident, and then resorted to Googling pick up lines in hopes that somebody on the internet is spending their refractory period writing dating advice that you can use. Finding a brilliant opener is a tricky proposition, even for the best of us so I’ve pulled a few gems from America’s favorite pant-suited seductress that are guaranteed to get you digits.<\/p>\n
\n- I have a lot of stamina and I have a lot of resilience.<\/li>\n
- Put this helicopter on the ground! I left my sunglasses in the limo. I need those sunglasses. We need to go back!<\/li>\n
- No. We just can’t trust the American people to make those types of choices … Government has to make those choices for people.<\/li>\n
- Every marriage is a mystery to me, even the one I’m in. So I’m no expert on it.<\/li>\n
- I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas.<\/li>\n
- My two secrets to staying healthy: wash your hands all the time. And, if you can’t, use Purell or one of the sanitizers. And the other is hot peppers. I eat a lot of hot peppers. I for some reason started doing that in 1992, and I swear by it.<\/li>\n
- I’ve never been asked a silly question in my entire life.<\/li>\n
- I drink tons of water. Just as much water as I can possibly drink.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
If you’ve used Tinder you’ve probably spent a fair amount of time staring at a blank message prompt desperately trying to think of something clever to text that one slightly average looking person who probably swiped you by accident, and then resorted to Googling pick up lines in hopes that somebody on the internet… Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[379],"tags":[380,109,491,445,490],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6upCM-t2","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1853,"url":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=1853","url_meta":{"origin":1800,"position":0},"title":"Wow! Donald Trump Utterly Annihilates Hillary With Devastating Revelation","author":"Animal Control","date":"March 20, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 (On Hillary Clinton) \"Is she a Christian? I don't think so. I know she was photographed dancing in front of Moloch at Bohemian Grove dressed as a man and married a male prostitute... you can fact check that. (Bernie) Sanders officiated the ceremony, he admits it! Sacrificing children to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Angry Advice"","block_context":{"text":"Angry Advice","link":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?cat=379"},"img":{"alt_text":"(On Hillary Clinton) Is she a Christian? I don't think so. I know she was photographed dancing in front of Moloch at Bohemian Grove dressed as a man and married a male prostitute... you can fact check that. (Bernie) Sanders officiated the ceremony, he admits it! Sacrificing children to a giant burning owl? That's not Christian. That's not American. That's a disgrace! -Donal Trump","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/Trump-Moloch.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/Trump-Moloch.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/Trump-Moloch.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/Trump-Moloch.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1845,"url":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=1845","url_meta":{"origin":1800,"position":1},"title":"Trump or Hitler? You’ll never believe who said these shocking quotes!","author":"Animal Control","date":"March 20, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Can you tell the difference between Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler? Many people have compared Trump's fiery rhetoric to that of everybody's favorite mass murderer, but how close are they really? The Donald may be the Blitzkrieg in the Boardroom but can he take it to the battlefield? We've found\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Articles"","block_context":{"text":"Articles","link":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?cat=256"},"img":{"alt_text":"Who said it? Trump or Hitler?","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/trumphitler.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/trumphitler.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/trumphitler.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/trumphitler.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1787,"url":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=1787","url_meta":{"origin":1800,"position":2},"title":"The Worst Advice: Cosmo Can’t Even Get Flirting Right","author":"Animal Control","date":"August 1, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"By Staff Writer If there's one unwritten rule, or more accurately, one horrifically overwritten rule, it's that before you can start enjoying that relationship you have to actually meet another human being first. And that invariably is going to involve a little flirting, so thank God that Cosmo is riding\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Angry Advice"","block_context":{"text":"Angry Advice","link":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?cat=379"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1151,"url":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=1151","url_meta":{"origin":1800,"position":3},"title":"Learn to Draw a Webcomic with Angry Critter!","author":"Animal Control","date":"April 2, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 It's okay, some of my favorite webcomics use stick figures!","rel":"","context":"In "Angry Advice"","block_context":{"text":"Angry Advice","link":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?cat=379"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/stickfigure-advice.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/stickfigure-advice.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/04\/stickfigure-advice.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1571,"url":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=1571","url_meta":{"origin":1800,"position":4},"title":"There are some things a man can’t walk away from. Like me in my rocket ship.","author":"Animal Control","date":"October 5, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"","rel":"","context":"In "Angry Advice"","block_context":{"text":"Angry Advice","link":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?cat=379"},"img":{"alt_text":"Famous John Wayne quote about flying a rocket to the sun.","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/John-Wayne-Rocket.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/John-Wayne-Rocket.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/John-Wayne-Rocket.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1378,"url":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=1378","url_meta":{"origin":1800,"position":5},"title":"Developing a Successful Social Media Strategy and Thoughts on SEO","author":"Animal Control","date":"November 11, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"As someone who has been a blogger for several years, and worked in a number of online communities for far longer, the topics of social media strategy and SEO (search engine optimization) come up quite frequently. Having been on both sides of the issue; working to expand my own reach\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Angry Advice"","block_context":{"text":"Angry Advice","link":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?cat=379"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1800"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1800"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1800\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1804,"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1800\/revisions\/1804"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1800"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1800"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1800"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
![\"Hillary](\"http:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/hillar_tinder-small.png\")
<\/p>\n