{"id":880,"date":"2010-06-08T06:00:28","date_gmt":"2010-06-08T14:00:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=880"},"modified":"2010-06-18T15:11:40","modified_gmt":"2010-06-18T23:11:40","slug":"if-you-can-lift-him-hes-yours","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=880","title":{"rendered":"If you can lift him, he&#8217;s yours!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/Ostrich-shop-lift.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-879\" title=\"Ostrich shop lift\" src=\"http:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/Ostrich-shop-lift.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"800\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/Ostrich-shop-lift.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/Ostrich-shop-lift-225x300.jpg 225w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Submitted by Captain Awsome<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Submitted by Captain Awsome&hellip; <a class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=880\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[7],"tags":[331,350],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6upCM-ec","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":768,"url":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=768","url_meta":{"origin":880,"position":0},"title":"Give him a bell and paint him orange, he&#8217;s perfect!","author":"Animal Control","date":"February 19, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Submitted by Captain Awesome Photo Source: http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/icathing\/ \/ CC BY-SA 2.0","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Critters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Critters","link":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/02\/Beluga-buoy.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/02\/Beluga-buoy.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/02\/Beluga-buoy.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":300,"url":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=300","url_meta":{"origin":880,"position":1},"title":"I bet he&#8217;s an angry drunk","author":"Animal Control","date":"November 27, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Submitted by Captain Awesome","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Critters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Critters","link":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"BEERKEGABEAST","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/11\/BEERKEGABEAST.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/11\/BEERKEGABEAST.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/11\/BEERKEGABEAST.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":803,"url":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=803","url_meta":{"origin":880,"position":2},"title":"Just need to find some wire cutters&#8230;","author":"Animal Control","date":"March 2, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Submitted by Spiteful Marmot","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Critters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Critters","link":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?cat=7"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.angrycritter.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/ostridge-look-fence.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":889,"url":"https:\/\/www.angrycritter.com\/?p=889","url_meta":{"origin":880,"position":3},"title":"The CDC would like to &#8220;not&#8221; 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