Twitter Updates for 2015-01-24


  • RT @johnfreiler: my friend's apartment building burned down so he's at his parents' and he still won't hang out with me. HOW MANY MORE FIRE… ->
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Jan 25th, 2015 | Filed under Crittocracy

Twitter Updates for 2015-01-22


  • Hey…..! Who here remembers 9/11, because I've got 6 pages of jokes I need to try out on a live audience. ->
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Jan 23rd, 2015 | Filed under Crittocracy

Twitter Updates for 2015-01-21


  • RT @robdelaney: I'm still not going to Disneyland even though they give out free measles now. ->
  • As coach used to say, if you don't need to pee, you're not drinking enough beer. ->
  • At least I think that's what he said, he was hard to hear over the firefighters cutting him out of his car. ->
  • @TikiAmbassador it's hip and retro now, grab a coffee and a thin cigarette and deal. in reply to TikiAmbassador ->
  • We took society to its natural conclusion, leaving behind statues of indeterminate origin and purpose, in a modest state of disrepair. ->
  • Treason was an unfortunate choice of words, but to our benefit, the victims of our indiscretion remain a forgettable statistic. ->
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Jan 22nd, 2015 | Filed under Crittocracy

Twitter Updates for 2015-01-18


  • I wrote a tell-all novel about some hypothetical murders I totally did not commit and realized I have a lot of unfulfilled potential. ->
  • Crowdsourcing an alibi, and maybe some potential target practice. ->
  • Man's quest for greatness remains mired in budget subcommittees. ->
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Jan 19th, 2015 | Filed under Crittocracy

Twitter Updates for 2015-01-17


  • The mere existence of man is alone justification enough for his genocide. ->
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Jan 18th, 2015 | Filed under Crittocracy

Twitter Updates for 2015-01-15


  • You can teach a man to fish or you can run him through a wood chipper and sell him as organic fish food for $5 a pound. ->
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Jan 16th, 2015 | Filed under Crittocracy