• I need a wingman. And airplanes. And a landing strip. Actually, when it comes to dating apparently I'm grounded. Dibs on sidecar. ->
  • If anybody ask ->
  • If anybody asks if you're having a good time say 'yes sir, I am' and show them your official documents of State Approved Good Times. ->
  • You are a predator. The kind who starves to death in the wild. That's a shame. ->

  • Guys there's a new "World of Warcraft" out so we can safely ignore the first four years of Trumpicide. ->
  • Life begins at conception and conception was a really good Twitter joke I had so let's all pool together and help me remember the punchline. ->

  • All I'm saying is you spend 30 seconds in a Chico bar and you reevaluate the color of skin that needs a bus ticket to Greenland or wherever. ->
  • Hey girl are you the 18th amendment because I like making terrible mistakes and also might be an alcoholic. Send whiskey. ->
  • Four men walk into a bar and are killed by state police. Welcome to the twilight zone circa 1920, a cautionary tale of morality. ->