Twitter Updates for 2015-07-01

  • Is it hot in here or is it just the spotlights the police are shining on the building? ->
  • RT @Bashfullsmile: I saw a rainbow this morning too. Who knows what shit that means. ->
  • You don't get to the top without breaking a few bones, setting them in concrete, and building a staircase. ->
  • I used to be a 9/11 Truther until I applied the scientific method and started spraying things with jet fuel and observing the results. ->
  • During my brief stint as a private eye I always found dirt on my subjects. 6 feet of it… well 6 inches if i was in a hurry. ->
  • If DJ'ing is a lost art, it's because this is the guy that murdered it, and buried it in the woods where no one would find it. ->
  • You had me at "roll burning logs down a hill and onto the villagers below." ->
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Jul 2nd, 2015 | Filed under Crittocracy

Twitter Updates for 2015-05-23

  • Girl, you must be a stormtrooper because you missed everything except my heart and a reading of Mein Kampf. ->
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May 24th, 2015 | Filed under Crittocracy

Twitter Updates for 2015-05-22

  • I suppose there's some irony to be found in the fact that the wallet always survives the wood chipper, albeit slightly, discolored. ->
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May 23rd, 2015 | Filed under Crittocracy

Twitter Updates for 2015-05-20

  • Just once I'd like to crowd source something that isn't moral outrage or a torch-wielding mob. ->
  • You do have to appreciate the technology forward and fire safe practice of the mob wielding flashlights as opposed to traditional open flame ->
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May 21st, 2015 | Filed under Crittocracy

Twitter Updates for 2015-05-14

  • The great thing about bars is they're so loud that even if a woman hits on you by accident all you can do is just smile, nod, and walk away. ->
  • The other great thing about bars is how you can make the international news just by chaining the doors shut and setting them on fire. ->
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May 15th, 2015 | Filed under Crittocracy

Twitter Updates for 2015-05-06

  • I've got some shit that will blow your mind; he said gesturing towards a shotgun resting on a mountain of cocaine and Semtex. ->
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May 7th, 2015 | Filed under Crittocracy