Twitter Updates for 2014-08-14


  • Give a man a barrel and he rolls down a hill for a day, pickle a man in a barrel and you feed unsuspecting bar patrons for a lifetime. ->
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Aug 15th, 2014 | Filed under Crittocracy

Twitter Updates for 2014-06-26


  • The amount of familiar faces who have refollowed me after unfollowing is getting as long as these intestines I've been extracting (4 hours). ->
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Jun 27th, 2014 | Filed under Crittocracy

Twitter Updates for 2014-06-22


  • Good job random people teepeeing a house at 1 in the morning ->
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Jun 23rd, 2014 | Filed under Crittocracy

Twitter Updates for 2014-06-21


  • Keep calm and invade Iraq again. ->
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Jun 22nd, 2014 | Filed under Crittocracy

Twitter Updates for 2014-06-19


  • When everything costs an arm and a leg it's good to be the guy with the chainsaw. ->
  • Really hoping after this weekend I'll have inspired Obama to push through some legislation about covering bulldozers with concrete and guns ->
  • Spinning donuts with the Eternal Life Dozer on top of all these losers waiting in line for government handouts of victory or death. ->
  • Three men walk into a bar and are promptly beheaded by ISIS because Allah disapproves of bar going. ->
  • All of man's progress is measured on the razors edge because he is bad at finding things to measure with. ->
  • RT @Something_Awful: Politician Album Covers! (Part 1 of 2): You're gonna love this theme, and that's not a fake politician promise… http… ->
  • @HuffingtonPost nice to know he's wasting our tax dollars inventing new ways to murder Americans with his fancy toys in reply to HuffingtonPost ->
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Jun 20th, 2014 | Filed under Crittocracy

Twitter Updates for 2014-03-11


  • I like prying the guns out of people's cold dead hands but only because I like to collect hands. ->
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Mar 12th, 2014 | Filed under Crittocracy