Twitter Updates for 2012-01-26

  • Been bashing my head into a wall all day and still not as retarded as @danecook. Will try huffing paint next. ->
  • I hope all this negative publicity for Newt Gingrich isn't going to affect anyone's plans to not acknowledge the existence of Ron Paul. ->
  • I am small pieces of frozen water falling from the sky onto Lucifer's head. #hailsatan ->
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Jan 27th, 2012 | Filed under Crittocracy
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Twitter Updates for 2012-01-24

  • Ron Paul vows to end TSA. In other news, Ron Paul never seen or heard from again. ->
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Jan 25th, 2012 | Filed under Crittocracy
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Twitter Updates for 2012-01-20

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Jan 21st, 2012 | Filed under Crittocracy
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Twitter Updates for 2012-01-19

  • It's 8:45 and I'm eating a cupcake. Much like Rick Perry, I too am unqualified to be President and will be ending my campaign. ->
  • @jeb_ any chance we'll see some sort of cave biomes? Like crystal caves or ones with plants in them? ->
  • Ron Paul can still win this thing! He just has to get Gingrich to run over Romney with his campaign bus. ->
  • Mitt Romney is the front runner because he looks and acts the most presidential, has great hair and is awesome, but Ron Pau… #RonPaulFacts ->
  • I would like a double Mark Wahlberger with a side of Freedom Fries and a Liberty Shake. ->
  • @davidpakmanshow Nope. in reply to davidpakmanshow ->
  • I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night and now I'm dead. Thanks memorable TV ad campaign. ->
  • @teamsilence32 I am done reading you now I will burn you because I am Hitler. in reply to teamsilence32 ->
  • If Ron Paul wins the election they will forget to invite him to the inauguration and have to swear in Romney instead. #RonPaulFacts ->
  • A spambot says I'm an interesting tweeter. I will take what I can get because you guys suck at stroking my ego. ->
  • No Jesus! Jews for Jesus is a trap they just want to kill you again! ->
  • My Twitter account is worth $18.84! Find your value at http://t.co/wcnCRZ4a #twalculate ->
  • @mizze_ Die Outernet scum! in reply to mizze_ ->
  • So apparently bragging about killing hookers all day lowers the resale value of a twitter account. Good to know. #twalculate ->
  • Mark Wahlberg tried to stop 9/11 but he accidentally punched the World Trade Towers instead and George Bush is pretty mad at him now. ->
  • Every day Mark Wahlberg lives with the crushing despair that he failed to stop 9/11. If only he had been there it would have been different. ->
  • @RonPaul4Dummies Is it liberty? Because I bet that tastes really good. in reply to RonPaul4Dummies ->
  • I've been featured on http://t.co/O0NdMDDU ! Can you do the same? I bet you can't because you lack the reflexes of a bobcat @5minutesfame ->
  • Mark Wahlberg: Time Cop. Mark travels to 2001 to stop 9/11 but discovers love instead. ->
  • If elected, Ron Paul would keep a bowl of Werther's Originals in the Oval Office. #RonPaulFacts ->
  • Mitt Romney hair update: still perfectly fabulous. Newt Gingrich unfazed and still in the fight! Ron Paul issues statement abo #RonPaulFacts ->
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Jan 20th, 2012 | Filed under Crittocracy
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Twitter Updates for 2012-01-18

  • On the bright side, if SOPA passes maybe we can get @MensHumor sent to Guantanamo Bay. ->
  • Well at least http://t.co/DU8KKOtI isn't protesting SOPA so I can still look stuff up. I do have a sudden urge to kill gay people though ->
  • Putting garbage bags over stop signs in protest of #SOPA how many more people need to die to stop congress from stealing our liberty? ->
  • @LOLGOP He's just trying to fulfill the prophecy of a millionaire job creator, stop trying to crucify him! in reply to LOLGOP ->
  • Marky Mark never forgets about how he failed to stop 9/11. THIS TWEET (C) 2012. FOR HOME VIEWING ONLY. DO NOT DISTRIBUTE. ->
  • The bobble head does not move. Motionless it watches you. Judging you. You start to reach for it. What does it mean to be alive? ->
  • A wolf howls in the distance. You snap your hand back. Did the bobble head move? Imperceptibly? No. Your hand buries itself in your pocket. ->
  • You walk away slowly. Backwards. Eyes locked with the bobble head. Thump thump thump. What is that? Your heart. The bobble head moves. ->
  • If you're not following @crittocracy you probably can't read this tweet. YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME?! ->
  • I don't think @reddit understands that even if SOPA is stopped all their kiddie porn will still be illegal. ->
  • Sweet dreams are made of aborted fetuses. Welcome to Obama's America! Vote Romney 2012! ->
  • If I had a dead hooker for every one of my tweets I wouldn't have time to properly dispose of the bodies. ->
  • Haha, over a 1,000 tweets! Fuck you productive and fulfilling life. ->
  • If SOPA is defeated, rape jokes will become funny. Just kidding, totally psyched you out #reddit ->
  • @yodaism You are short and stupid in reply to yodaism ->
  • Got 99 problems and the bitch takes up 3/4 of the list. Talking about a female dog cuz I'm not sexist. ->
  • Do you think Marky Mark would have punched out Hitler? Hope so cuz he was like 10x worse than 9/11 ->
  • @yodaism Like centripetal force? I hope so because that's my favorite force. in reply to yodaism ->
  • Jesus is drowning all the babies so he can take them to Heaven. I'd stop him but who am I to question His will? ->
  • #PeopleShouldStop drop and roll when I set them on fire but usually they just panic and run around screaming. Fire safety people! ->
  • @FilthyRichmond Mark Wahlberg could lift his head w/ one hand while fighting Al Qaeda w/ the other and kicking a tiger in the face. in reply to FilthyRichmond ->
  • If you can laugh at your own jokes, you're halfway to being a comedian. The 2nd half is shoving a loaded .45 in your mouth. ->
  • Is Wikipedia up yet? I've been fact-checking my tweets on Conservapedia and I'm not sure its a real encyclopedia. Also, I'm a Christian now. ->
  • Did you know that Hitler was really protecting Germany from the homosexual agenda but the liberals covered it up? #ConservapediaFacts ->
  • @rare_basement I don't know but I bet Mark Wahlberg could find out when he returns from 2001. in reply to rare_basement ->
  • Back To The Future 2012: Mark Walhberg travels to 2001 and stops 9/11 but radically alters the timeline. 2001 Doc Brown tells Mark… ->
  • that he must then cause 9/11 in order to restore the timeline to it's proper place. ->
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Jan 19th, 2012 | Filed under Crittocracy
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Twitter Updates for 2012-01-17

  • I'm so good a victory I get my spoils while they're still fresh. ->
  • @Horse_Crimes I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MY LOVE FOR YOU BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY in reply to Horse_Crimes ->
  • I have been protesting SOPA by not updating my website since before I knew what SOPA was and will continue to not update forever in protest. ->
  • Ron Paul is so hip he was in the KKK ironically. ->
  • Again, @omarepps is right on about wikipedia's leftist lies. Only http://t.co/DU8KKOtI has the real truth about evolution and gay agenda! ->
  • No surprise that all the websites going dark 2 protest SOPA are all run by leftists and communists. REAL AMERICANS SUPPORT IT. VOTE ROMNEY ->
  • Stop Obama from making freedom free! Only the free market should be allowed 2 set the price. Vote RonPaul2012 ->
  • @RonPaul4Dummies, your Klout Score is 45 (I'm a 23). Check out your @klout profile today! http://t.co/3X70eHTM ->
  • All I know is that as soon as Mitt Romney figures out what it is he stands for I will be against it. ->
  • If Ron Paul wins the primary he will beat Obama but then he would be arrested for a hate crime and spend presidency under White House arrest ->
  • Haha, that last joke was pretty good! *Waits patiently for someone to favorite it. Dies sad and alone.* ->
  • @amazingatheist, your Klout Score is decent (I'm a 23) you're like 60 (old man). Check out your @klout profile today! http://t.co/21mUJX4J ->
  • I am going to make Ron Paul jokes until he wins the Presidency or has his goons kill me, either way you get to suffer. Unless he kills me. ->
  • Wow, @BonJovi hasn't tweeted for like three days now, I hope he's not back in the hospital again. ->
  • Ron Paul would do much better if he started going by Ronald instead and changed his last name to Reagan and then stopped having values. ->
  • Considering how much people complain about Presidents playing golf, HOW ABOUT VOTING FOR THE CANDIDATE WHO DOESN'T PLAY GOLF. ->
  • Alex Jones is going to freak when he discovers Ron Paul is actually the king of the lizard people and doesn't care about 9/11 truth at all. ->
  • No @HuffingtonPost I did not. Thank you for another riveting article that redefines your relevance in today's tumultuously fast paced world. in reply to HuffingtonPost ->
  • I bet Ron Paul is going to protest SOPA tomorrow by turning his website white. Vote #RonPaul2012 ->
  • Gingrich continues to blast Obama's socialist policy of not leaving the poor to die of starvation. Promises to have them deported if elected ->
  • If you keep feeding the poors they will continue to breed. Gingrich proposes final solution to eliminate food stamp program. ->
  • Cleaning: Target Women: http://t.co/NHfcfzh8 via @youtube ->
  • @justinbieber OMG you are so inspirational! Like a Canadian Jesus. in reply to justinbieber ->
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Jan 18th, 2012 | Filed under Crittocracy
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