• @realDonaldTrump oh man good thing that story about the time we let those hookers rot in an elevator for a month didn't leak. Good times. ->
  • @realDonaldTrump probably shouldn't have used the nice elevator though. Still has a funny smell… might be why the restaurant is in a rut. in reply to crittocracy ->
  • @realDonaldTrump on the bright side, shorter line to get a super authentic taco bowl when the local Taco Bell is full up. in reply to crittocracy ->
  • @realDonaldTrump this probably sounds mental, but have you considered opening a restaurant in the White House? ->
  • @realDonaldTrump 15k a night covers, candle light dinner in the Oval Office while you repeal Obama's "legacy" ->
  • @realDonaldTrump you're already paying secret service to stand in a corner and collect dust. Make them earn a living like honest Americans ->
  • @realDonaldTrump if the @SecretService can dress like waiters they can open a 300 dollar bottle of wine and serve crackers ->

  • Very excited to see repeal of Socialist Security program and deadbeat senior parasites forced to get real jobs @realDonaldTrump ->
  • No more handouts for communists, being old is no excuse not to work @realDonaldTrump ->
  • Many olds still have plenty of work years left, no more knitting sweaters for free @realDonaldTrump ->
  • Help grandma make America Great Again by replacing cheap Chinese seamstresses @realDonaldTrump ->
  • Historically, America was established as colony of great Empire of Russia @realDonaldTrump ->
  • Very excited to see the colonies finally returned to Russian rule as one true God intended @realDonaldTrump ->
  • Democracy was invented by criminal immigrants from inferior European races, only Commissar Putin is one true ruler @realDonaldTrump ->
  • As one of anointed, you have tasted his seed and surrendered to his salty wisdom @realDonaldTrump ->
  • A toast to another thousand years under the mercy of Great Russian Bear! @realDonaldTrump ->
  • May Old Glory spend the next 8 years at half mast because it flies below the flag of our true lord, Mother Russia @realDonaldTrump ->
  • Weird how committing treason is pretty good for TV ratings… @realDonaldTrump ->
  • Funny story, as an ex-pat myself, I too am inclined to hate democracy and constitution but love real Russian vodka @realDonaldTrump ->
  • Funny story, I had to the (mis)fortune of visiting Trump Tower and… not that great. Not an American spirit to be found @realDonaldTrump ->
  • Make Trump Tower great again! Only serve American liquor! @realDonaldTrump ->
  • Trump Tower very good a serving Singesom Whiskey and Mao Light, not single proud USA beverage in sight @realDonaldTrump ->
  • Okay this is really weird but instead of cherries @TrumpTower makes a Manhattan with a little Russian flag @realDonaldTrump ->
  • Okay I just swallowed the little Russian flag, do you have doctors in Motherland or only shaman? @TrumpTower @realDonaldTrump ->
  • Do you serve any liquors not made by countries who employ suicide bombers? @TrumpTower ->
  • Love the little nesting dolls you put in every room with the chocolates and FSB listening devices @TrumpTower @realDonaldTrump ->

  • RT @MrEricMartin: Thoughts and prayers to all the brave corporations fighting against humanity. ->
  • SHOCKING! Another coke head in a bar announces their support for Hillary Clinton… ->
  • It's 11pm and ESPN is airing footage of rained out soccer games. Back to you hot blond in the tight sweater and in a warm, dry studio… ->

  • Fun fact: Donald Trump fondled no less than three woman on the set where the moon landing was faked. ->
  • Trump vows to end Obama's policy of spying on all Americans and only spy on the really hot chicks, and only their tits (nothing weird). ->
  • Looking forward to the Oval Office having a rotating bed and a sign that states "Minors Allowed." ->
  • Probably the only gutter with a "whites only" sign @ClaudeMilletART @LOLGOP in reply to ClaudeMilletART ->
  • Presidencies are for closers, not gropers. #sealthedeal @realDonaldTrump ->